Strong Emotions

I found this little piece that I wrote in April 2013.  I have walked a long road since then and am so grateful that I had this wisdom back then, even if I didn’t always remember it.
Having come out of a very, very traumatic year where I often felt like a train has hit me I have such peace and clarity now.  I feel sure it was because of how I handled the grieving process.
See, the thing is to understand your emotions.  To give yourself a break and to understand that you, like every human being on this planet, have emotions and a right to feel them.  Yes.  You do.  We all do.  But to understand your emotions you have to be willing to face them.  That can be incredibly, incredibly hard sometimes.  So much easier to turn away or look for distractions or look for excuses.  But be sure then that they will come back.  Louder.  Harder.  And have the almost sure risk of turning you into a bitter, possibly more unhappy person.

If you let your fears and your worries and yes, and your pain wash over you – allow them to fully reveal themselves, they become less scary.  I am by no means suggesting that you dwell there.  Understand that it is a process and also has an end.  An outcome.  Understand that in doing that you are learning – about yourself mostly.  About what is important to you.  About what you want to be important to you.  And most importantly – understanding your vulnerability.  And that, like everyone else on this planet – you are vulnerable.  That is what makes us human and beautiful.

Feeling the heat – as much as it could freak you out – will not necessarily make you tough.  Or bitter.  Or cynical.  Not if your aim is to learn and to understand.  What it will do is make you a beautiful, loving, understanding human being.  Open to give and to receive.

I believe that the strongest people are those who acknowledge and celebrate their vulnerability.  Those who are not afraid to be the first to say:  “I love you”.  Or are afraid but do it anyway.  Those who are not afraid to show someone a kind face or gesture.  And expect absolutely nothing in return.  I know it sounds so very yogi or “airy fairy” – but show a hurtful person compassion and understanding.  That does NOT mean allow them to hurt you.  It does NOT mean become a doormat.  It simply means – understand why they do that.  Consider this:  would a person, who themselves is happy and content, hurt others?  That bully in the office, that man who tore your heart out, that dad who doesn’t pay attention – just try to remember why they do that.  Then wait and see – you might just find that they notice that you understand.  They might just realise what they are doing.  And they might just learn something too.  And so you might have helped someone find peace too or at least helped them begin to understand.  Even if they aren’t in your life.  If someone hurts you, walk away.  A very powerful thing to do.  And walking away can take many forms.  Ignoring a vitriolic remark or refusing to be part of poisonous talk.  You don’t have to allow others to hurt you in order to be understanding.  

Loyalty and honesty is a choice that only strong spirits have the courage to make. 

To every single person in my life and those in my future and those in my past and even those I will never know, I send you love and warmth.


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